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[26 Dec 2009|09:09pm] |
I just finished watching three movies today. I've been watching those three for a week now and I'm finally done.
The third movie's Zack and Miri make a porno, the other two, of which I've started last week, I can't tell. It'll spoil a surprise. hehe.
"Sometimes we just need someone to show us something we can't see for ourselves. And then, we're changed forever." Believe it or not, I got that from Zack and Miri make a porno. haha. Love stories, aren't they a bitch? They show us something that could never happen in real life.
The other two, well, they're more serious.
And I've learned a few things. One, I wanna live in the 60's. I would've fit in just well.
And two, I just got what a friend once told me. He said that a romantic would kill to be with someone like me for all the things I can and would do and have done. But a realist wouldn't be so crazy about it. I responded with an "I know." and laughed. But now, I finally see what he meant.
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[26 Dec 2009|12:30am] |
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I finally had dinner with my family, without Pep though, he was stuck at work. We got home at about 10pm.
By the way, Phidel is alive! haha. Anyway, I got to talk to a few people. Sam and I talked over at ym and Alek called me. I also got to meet up with Ging over ym before I got off.
I got to talk with Jz this evening and while I was talking to him, a song keeps playing in my head. It's actually been playing in my head for days now and it's also a clue on something for someone on something day by next year.. hehe.
Hold me tight, tell me I'm the only one
And then I might, never be the lonely one.
So hold me tight, tonight, tonight,
It's you, you you you - oo-oo - oo-oo.
I really do want you to hold me tight and tell me I'm that the only one.
It's only been a week but it feels like it's been so long.
I miss vacations.. I miss you..
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[25 Dec 2009|05:52pm] |
I'm just waiting for time now. I'm gonna meet up with my family and have dinner. I really wanted to finish early today.
Insights for the day, I realized that if ever I would hug my boss, it would only be for two things.
One, for being cool with us when we we're freshly new, and two, to strangle the air out of him for always having the 'right' timing for everything.
He always seems to get me whenever we're extra busy. I dread every text message from him. haha.
His first message for the day read: "Taliban released video of captured US soldier. Mapayapang pasko sa inyo" And I woudn't want to continue with his other messages..
I wanna get outta here! haha.
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[25 Dec 2009|01:00am] |
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MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Same old, same old. I think the day's over for us. We're all tired and are just watching movies. And I need to go to work tomorrow, so does my brother. It's quite a funny gift giving this year. My brothers both got my sister the same exact shirt as present. They gave me a jacket and a coffee mug. I don't drink coffee and she has two of the same shirts so we made tradsies, no more backsies. haha. Of course, with my brother's permission.
I messaged, I think, all of the people who I care about. haha. I don't message everyone anymore, my phone bill's through the roof again. haha.
Well, tomorrow is another day. I hope we finish early so we could go home early. It's Christmas day for pete's sake!
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[23 Dec 2009|01:14am] |
Just got home from my cousin's wedding and I don't want to go to work tomorrow.
Well, anyway, I'm particularly happy about some things today.
First, I just got the greatest present that I could ever have this season. I am very happy, no more worries about something.
And second, my mom found my Pentax camera. I am very happy about that too. My dad gave me that camera for my 16th birthday. My brothers borrowed it from me years ago and never heard of it since. And now I have it again. I'll keep it with my other cameras.
[Another joy of mine is my camera collection. hehe. I do have lots of joys.=D]
I'm just particularly happy about some things today. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I don't know.
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[20 Dec 2009|08:34pm] |
And all I wanted was for you to be proud of me.
After I got what I got from you the night I told you of my proudest moment, a part of me died. It made me want to stop trying.
[it is really hard for me to let go of things but, as I've said before, I am trying]
But it was also from you where I got the push to start trying again.
 This is me dreaming again. 'Cause it felt so good to be called a writer, let me dream again. Please let me find my own Neverland. "All great writers begin with a good leather binding and a respectable title."
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[20 Dec 2009|08:25pm] |
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Love stories had ruined everything for me  This is the escalator scene from Cruel Intentions, one of my favorite movies. I developed a crush on Ryan Phillippe because of this movie. Here's where Sebastian appears at sight while Annette reaches the top of the escalator at the train station. Whenever I'm going up the stairs of the underpass on my way home, I seem to imagine that someone's waiting for me atop those stairs. But when I reach the top, I wake up back to reality. Things don't always go the way you want them to be. Sometimes it's nice to be surprised even if you know deep inside you've been wanting it to happen. |
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[20 Dec 2009|12:41pm] |
Maybe I've been too optimistic about next year, on how things can be right this time. I guess, I was hoping for too much.
I just broke my own hope, for something that I thought would turn out to be right this time. Maybe I ask for too much.
I might not ask for expensive stuff or hard to find items, but that's the point.
The hardest thing to ask is something that's not material. Something that is so easy to say but hard to give out.
Oh my gahd! what is this loneliness?! Must be the weather and the music, just the right amount of cold and gloom, both in and out.
The holidays are coming and it makes me remember things that I'll never get to do anymore.
I remember talking to my lolas every Christmas eve, I won't get to do that anymore.
I remember my kuya joking about my Christmas presents, I think that won't happen in a long time.
I remember my dad waking me up on Christmas day mornings, that won't happen anymore.
I remember spending Christmas day at my aunt's and uncle's with the family.
I don't expect to get anything this year, 'cause I have no Christmas.
Oh simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
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[19 Dec 2009|09:10pm] |
I've realized that I'm becoming a little too sensitive[is that the right word for it?] lately.
I'm tried of begging, of asking, of making myself worth something.
Does giving up mean I'm a failure?
"I'm just a fucked up girl looking for my own piece of mind, I'm not perfect."
I've never claimed myself to be perfect.
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[19 Dec 2009|06:35pm] |
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Lair, lair [burns in fire] rots in hell..
People hide things 'cause, somehow, they know that there's something not right about it.
You think I don't know, but you have no idea.
I'm not a stupid girl, don't make me look stupid.
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[19 Dec 2009|06:31pm] |
 MB xmas party '09 The Online table. Yups, there are only seven of us. That's supposed to be the 60's but I think I'm the only one in costume.  Kiki, Agii and I at paskuhan  And that's our last photo for 2009 |
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[15 Dec 2009|04:12pm] |
I was watching Eternal Sunshine of th Spotless Mind last night, I didn't got to finish it 'cause I had to go.
I'm finishing it now. I guess I feel something every time I watch it, and I never get tired. I don't want to cry here but this scene always gets to me. And I guess it hit me hard, this time.
( It's the beach scene. )
I wish you stayed. I really do.
Come back and make up a goodbye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
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[15 Dec 2009|01:31am] |
One of the most hurtful things that could ever be done to me is to leave me, all by myself, most especially when all I need is to be with someone. Being left all alone is almost as worse as forgetting me.
I'm feeling even more miserable. Up to the point that people walk away from me because they couldn't stand my ranting.
I can't help but write all these down, 'cause I can't talk to anyone anymore.
I am nothing. I don't mean anything at all.
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[14 Dec 2009|12:34am] |
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I'm a little bummed out and not in the holiday mood. I'm sorry if I'm dragging the joy out of you guys.
I'm just not in the rejoicing mood.
This is depressing.
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[13 Dec 2009|06:36pm] |
  It would've been more fun if we were complete. There's a story about that night. You have to see me in person, so I could tell you all about it. hahaha.
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[12 Dec 2009|12:39am] |
Whenever I think that I'll be working on the holidays, I feel so tired and grouchy. But then again, every week has a Thursday, I'll feel better again. I do get tired from work. There are just some mornings that I don't feel like getting out of bed..
I miss the days when I can just lie in bed all day.
I work six days a week and that includes the two weekends. Weekends are just lazy days. But they can also be the most hectic days. Saturdays are hell. The only thing good about Saturdays is payday. It's the busiest day of the week. I'm not enjoying the Sunday paper..
Sundays are gloomy. It literally is a dark day. And sometimes, the feel of the place just bums me out.
But I won't give up my Thursdays for any weekend. Well, if there's something special about that weekend, then maybe I could give up just one Thursday. hehe.
Thursday's my day off. It's not really a rest day 'cause thinking that I'd spend it locked inside the house all day feels like a waste. I actually wake up the earliest on Thursdays, than on other days. Even if it's a little tiring, I wouldn't want it any other way because I love my Thursdays, our Thursdays.
The 22nd's fast approaching and I haven't had the time to go shoe shopping for my dress on my cousin's wedding. That reminds me, I need to file my leave for the 22nd.. But whenever I think of it, it just makes me feel a little off 'cause a lot of people would be away for the holidays and I'm stuck in the office. But I have to endure it. I have to start at the bottom to get to the top. E-I-C, here I come [making my way to get to you]. hahahaha.
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[11 Dec 2009|12:32pm] |
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"I can't imagine my life without her."
No, it didn't make my head swell but I did giggled like a child inside when I heard those words. It made my heart smile and it felt so good.
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[09 Dec 2009|08:19pm] |
Matampuhin akong bata..
That's just how I am.
I can't seem to get over or let go of some things.
I'm sorry about that. I still am just a kid.
But I'm working on it. I'm trying to grow up.
On a lighter note, I got kuya and Angeline's care package.
It's full of hiong piah.
haha, Malaysian hopia is love.
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[08 Dec 2009|06:58pm] |
 I love you Sgt. Kero!!!!! |
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[07 Dec 2009|07:38pm] |
 Ohhh, boredom.. haha, That's what I did to kill time last night. I was drawing paisleys for an hour in my notebook. Oh yeah, I bought a new notebook and it's so cool. A moleskine-wanna-be. haha. But I think it's the most expensive notebook that I've ever bought for my doodles.
And now, I'm gonna draw some more paisleys in my notebook to kill time... again.
It's the 7th.. Two months in my contract.
And a month away for our 2nd year.=D
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